Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
