Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
