instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks