Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
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As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
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Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.