my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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