I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Sorry about my life...
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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