@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Randomize
