I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
