8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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