Yo dont text me then not text me
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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