You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
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We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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