Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
