Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
