I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
