dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
