So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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