Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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