You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
