I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
