You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
