So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
