My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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