Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
