she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
