i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
