Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
