I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
