he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
