I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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