Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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