She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
