We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
