The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
