if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
We got so high we made milksteak
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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