He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
His nipple licking is glorious
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