no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize