The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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