I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My feet surprised me
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