Sorry, I don't speak sober.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
