just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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