Dual....:-)
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
