i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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