just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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