i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
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We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
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Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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