white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
