is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
My bed smells like the plague
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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