before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
