OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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