yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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