how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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