sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
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