So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
